My father passed away recently, and when someone passes on you somehow you always think of them differently. It allows you some time to understand what they offered to your life.when they were alive. Like I ever mentioned on my previous story, although he wasn’t always the best husband for my mother, nor did he win any Best Father awards, however I am grateful to inherit some strong character from him and with all hard time that I had before could make me who I am at now.
He was a businessman, but I didn’t grow up with him. I met him when I went to college town that happenly in the same town as his. He was a man who faced many ups and downs in his life. Failed to win projects, projects got cancelled, warehouse on fire, loan overdue, etc. Named it. ‘He’s been there, Done That’ kind of person. At small windows of interaction, I was lucky enough to witness him getting up from those hard times. I keep remember one thing that he always said, “I Am Not Afraid of Failures, I Am Only Afraid of Losing Faith in Myself”.
Losing faith is way more detrimental affect than the failure itself. Faith is like our candle light in the dark, that we need to keep up in the dark tunnel, so that it can accompany us to find the end of the tunnel.
“I Am Not Afraid of Failures, I Am Only Afraid of Losing Faith in Myself”.
This is a lesson and value that we don’t teach our young women enough. Though society and the world is making great strides in equality, we all still experience some level of gender-expectations that we have to break through in many circumstances. Though we can champion our girls, it’s the faith in themselves that will help them achieve their dreams.
When we fail, we have to have an inner belief that we are capable in order to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down, and continue. If we want to raise strong, independent girls, they have to develop the self-confidence and self-belief to look inside and know they are capable, even when they fail.
“Damascus Steel is one of the best Steel in the world. Tough and Resilient. Made after countless time of Forging, Twisting, Quenching”
“Experience is a Brutal Teacher, But the Most Effective One.”
To develop self-motivated young women, they must learn how to enjoy the journey. Failure is a natural part of that journey. No one who has succeeded at great things has done so without great failure. Our girls must understand that it is okay to fail, and not only is it okay, but it’s a rite of passage on the way to success. They need to understand that there is always hope – and if they don’t feel like there is, then to take it as a sign to move in a new direction. There is strength in being able to pivot instead of giving up or bullheadedly moving against the current.
So, how do we create an environment to teach our girls to develop faith in themselves? How did my dad teach me? We should be strong examples for our girls, and when possible, successful examples too. When that’s not possible in a competitive or professional setting, we should encourage them to find other idols and ensure they understand the failure that came before the success.
We can encourage them to try new things to gain the self-confidence that goes hand-in-hand with faith in yourself. When young girls are able to try hobbies and sports and pursue new passions, they become a well-rounded, self-motivated young woman who believes in her own ability to take on new challenges and succeed (or fail) and continue to grow.
We can also ensure they develop positive habits; and this includes the way they speak to themselves. When you hear them speaking negatively about themselves (especially if this has been put in their head by others) be quick to turn the negativity on its head. Don’t punish them but instead turn it into something positive, a learning experience, or show them how it is actually a strength. For example, if someone calls them bossy, tell them they have good leadership skills. Small compliments like this are the kind of things children carry with them for the rest of their lives.
Those are the value I want to bring and share through Nonika and the one it’s vital to impart to our growing girls to be strong independent girls.
Be the Light of Yourself – Be Self-motivated – Be Nonika
Btw, Nonika collection for Women is coming soon. So stay tune 🙂
~With Love R.J
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